I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
