we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
What a dumb baby whore.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
