Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
nutella sex= disaster
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
50% drunk capacity currently
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize