so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
