Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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