just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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