Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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