I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
