I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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