Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think your dad took our porno
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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