There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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