it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
