I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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