i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
