3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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