Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
