we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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