I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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