quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
