Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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