your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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