i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Randomize
