he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I need a burrito and a hug.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
