Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
