It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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