life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
