He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
