If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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