yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
