That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Randomize
