Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
