who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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