Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
