You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
