I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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