i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
