Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
