I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Randomize
