Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
