You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
