32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
