I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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