2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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