shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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