If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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