You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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