Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
