I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
