I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
