p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
