I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
