i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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